The History of Coconut Monkeys

Do you ever have those moments in life where nothing is going your way? Or when society does something really stupid and you want to disassociate yourself from mankind? These are the moments when you just want to crawl out of your life and into a new one that seems blissfully ignorant.

During these moments of frustration is when I often think about abandoning this life and heading toward a beautiful tropical island where my only concern is to make coconut monkeys for the occasional passer-by, and live a tanned bliss life. I don't have to worry about a corrupt society or life weighing me down. It's just a simple and blissful life filled with coconut monkeys in paradise. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

This past week I yearned for coconut monkeys when I read an article about Sarah Palin's appearance on the Dr. Laura show (I know, I also threw up a little in my mouth too). Palin's latest reckless comment was aimed towards the First Lady's 'Let's Move' campaign which promotes healthy eating and exercise habits for kids to help fight against childhood obesity. Palin's convinced the government is trying to tell parents how to raise their kids by 'dictating' what they should eat. According to her, the program (and insinuates it's a 'fad') is relaying the message to parents they are doing a 'bad job' and don't know how to feed and raise their own children. WTF? How do you even come up with that kind of conclusion? It's not about the government dictating to people how they should be better parents. It's about addressing a serious issue with the health of kids in today's society. Does she not know what's going on in the world? Does she not know who Jamie Oliver is and his Food Revolution? In today's society, it is not uncommon for a child to think peaches come from a 'snack-pack' and not a tree. We have become a society that is always striving to be cheaper, faster, better and have moved away from where things originate from in their organic state. This program is a tool to help society, not hurt society.

So when I hear about things like this, it just makes me want to shake my head in shame and be whisked away to my beautiful island where my coconut monkeys await.

Happy Birthday Memom

My grandmother, who all her grandkids called "Memom", recently passed away a few months ago and yesterday was her birthday. In honor of that (even though a day late) I thought I would share one of my favorite stories I have of her.

When I was about 5 years old, my mom threw out her back and became bed-ridden. My dad traveled for work at the time so Memom came to California to help out. Well, Memom couldn't do anything right as far as I was concerned. She didn't make my oatmeal right, I didn't like what she made me wear, etc. She wasn't doing things 'the way my mom did them.' Needless to say Memom was at her wits end with me, especially after one morning I put up such a fuss all the way to school. When she came to pick me up that day, I got into the car and had a very serious look on my face when I turned to her and said, "Memom, you know you're not God." And without missing a beat in her southern Texas twang she said "No I'm not but I'm next in line and you better do as I says." I sat there with a defeated and disgruntled look on my face and for the rest of Memom's visit 'I did as she says.'

Memom always got a kick out of telling this story and so I do.
Happy Birthday Memom

The McRib Sandwich - You Know You Want It

Every year McDonald's brings back for a limited time the McRib Sandwich. A flurry of hype and excitement descends on the masses as this great sandwich returns to the menu. I can't tell you how many Facebook posts I saw announcing its triumphant return. Now mind you, this is a sandwich made of disgustingly sweet bar-b-q sauce, rubber pickles chips and reconstituted onions all on top of a meat-like substance that is suppose to replicate the shape of a pork rib, although it is boneless. (I'm guessing it is pork, but could be beef - you decide.)

I give kudos to the marketing department for creating such a mass hysteria around this sandwich when it returns. For a sandwich that just oozes processed ingredients out of its pores, people love their McRib. In a moment of weakness, I too fell for the hypnotic McRib bonanza and broke down and bought one. I will say in my defense, I was stress eating and processed foods tend to have a melatonin effect on my brain to help comfort me - that is until I crash from an overload of processed carbs. Afterward I asked myself the question "what the hell did I just eat and why did I do that?!"

While some people are proud to shout it from the rooftop "I 'heart' the McRib!" this one remains one of my dirty little secrets.

Having Children: A Choice, Not an Assumption

The other day I watched a clip from the Joy Behar Show on whether or not there was a stigma attached to women who were childless by choice. One of her guest, a biological anthropologist, said from an evolutionary perspective it was odd for women to choose not to have children because they are choosing not to pass on their DNA. It's as if they are going against their biological instincts to reproduce. But it can also be said that times have changed drastically and what was assumed of us once before may not necessarily apply today.

During the discussion it was brought up that having children has become more of a decision rather than an assumption these days. I think this is true as how life is lived today is vastly different than how it was lived in the past. A lot of women are getting married later in life in their 30s and 40s, unlike our parents and grandparents who were typically in their late teens and early twenties. Others choose to focus on their careers; something that was unheard of at one point in time when society painted women as being only mothers and wives, not powerful business women or entrepreneurs.

Being a woman in my 30s I get asked from time to time about when or how many children I want to have. My answer is simple: 'I already have all the children I want in life.' Some people pick up on that right away while others still ask 'oh, how many do you have now?" Other times I say my dog is my baby (because she really is) and people will smile but often give off the look of pity. You know the look - 'poor thing, she'll never experience the joys of parenthood' or 'poor thing, she's just not normal is she?' These looks of pity are a bit judgmental. I don't think it's an accurate assumption to make (in this day in age) that since I am a woman I must want children. What about men? Do men get the pity look? I'm sure there are some mothers out there guilt-tripping their only son for not giving them a grandchild but I don't think men feel that invisible pressure as often as women do.

Some places in the world are fearful of a declining birthrate since women and/or couples are choosing to have none or only one child.  It's not as much of a necessity anymore to have a large family of 6 more children as it once may have been in order to survive. As society changes, so must we.

While I can't say I'll never have children, I can say I don't plan on having any.

Thinking Thoughts

When I was younger, it was a struggle for me to get going in the morning and get ready for school - or anywhere for that matter. Needless to say I was not a morning person. Often times I would just start to zone out right in the middle of doing something, like tying my shoe. It was as if someone pushed the pause button and I instantly had this glazed looked on my face.

One morning while getting ready for school, my mom passed by my room to make sure I was going to be ready on time. She stopped in the doorway to witness me in one of my zoning out moments and asked me what I was doing. Knowing we were running late for school I didn't want to tell her I was zoning out. I needed to seem more productive so instead I told her "I'm thinking thoughts." She then replied, "well think thoughts while you tie your shoe or you'll be late for school."

While I'm still not a morning person, I find myself 'thinking thoughts' during my zone out moments. Not all are thought provoking or productive, but the ones that are can lead down interesting paths at times. This blog will be sort of a pit stop for those thoughts.